DARK WEBSTER'S DICTIONARY

AN ENQUIRY CONCERNING HUMAN MISUNDERSTANDING

Click on any EMBOLDENED word to begin your quest for the Holy Grail.

Drawing Hands (Listy of Illos) FINAL_2.j

Aa

Acropolis Now / adj. the feeling that Western civilization is collapsing around us like a temple bombed by B-52s.

Aladdin's lumpen / n. the ragged proletariat of Arabia, esp. young males. Cf. refugeehadi

anomalie / n. any observation that puts you at odds with the Official Story.

AntiFaux n. larpers who believe they can stop the spread of fascism by becoming fascists.

ant drama / a story where something turns into its exact opposite. Cf. Google's motto: Don't Be Evil.
antisocial media / n. a wondrous digital realm where you fight bitterly with your idiot so-called friends.

Arjuna moment / n. a sickening second when you realize you're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't.

art class / n. the tribe of humans able to draw at birth because they think in pictures.

Bb

bell curve jar / n. claustrophobic reaction of females trapped inside a male demographic.

Berlin Walmart / n. what's in store when a planned economy collapses.

big T.O.E. / n. a Theory of Everything (mine is AWESOME!)
blank state / n. the Left's contention that government can be apolitical.
blind spat / n. an argument where neither side can see the other's point.

bluck / n. beginner's luck of the sort that won Trump the 2016 election.

Brave New Animal Farm / n. the industrial-scale torture of sentient beings.

bread & circuitry / n. combination of capitalism and computers that resulted in the ultimate weapon of mass distraction, antisocial media.

Cc

cardinal sin / n. the category mistake of reducing everything to numbers. Cf Steven Pinker.

case warfare /n. strategic conflation of case with class, e.g., "All rapists are men, therefore all men are rapists."
children of a lesser bod / n. the tribe of humans who fail to reproduce due to low attractiveness.

Christmas mourning / n. postmodern anxiety wherein life's rich pageant is tainted with buyers' remorse (cf. Fredric Jameson).

Chumpsky / n. left-leaning academic who uses his great intellect to prove that his shit doesn't stink (fr. linguist Noam Chomsky).

Civilization And Its Malcontents / n. a book Freud never wrote about why the good life breeds bad character.

concentration campus / n. a state-controlled re-education facility, e.g. kindergarten or college.
cornfielding / v. the act of wishing things you don't like away into the cornfield of negative space (fr. Twilight Zone episode It's A Good Life).

Crimea and Punishment /n. the cost of taunting the Minotaur with unsanctioned aggressions.
Crucifiction /n. belief that the Crucifixion was faked, like the moon landing.

cthonic boom / n. retort that occurs when you break a cultural barrier.
cult / n. short for culture.

Dd

dada / n. the surreal state of modern fatherhood.

dark webster / n. a member of the Intellectual Dark Web, or IDW.

deaf spot / n. biological hard-of-hearing when women say something funny or men cry out for help.

Decline of the Western n. the demise of Hollywood's dream factory as a source of moral instruction (fr. Oswald Spengler).

decolonization / n. the painful process of getting your head out of your ass.

delugion / n. religious conviction that a wrathful deity will soon send a great flood to destroy the unrighteous, e.g. Yahweh or Gaia.

demagooglery / n. the art of swaying the masses via algorithm. cf bread and circuitry

devoutline / n. chalk line drawn around God's corpse. Cf. God-shaped hole.

Dissociated Press /n. subjective journalism, bereft of fact, the mainstay of bread & circuitry.

distaff infection / n mental contagion that spreads through female channels.

Ee

empathological / adj. one who takes empathy to pathological extremes.Cf covidiot.

Endarkenment / v. & n. a counterbalance to the Enlightenment, often mislabeled Romanticism, marked by the growing shadow that inevitably results from striding t'wards the light of Reason.

e-male / n. a man-child who finds offline existence overwhelming.

eusocialist / n. one who craves the false security of the hive mind.

Ff

fact chuckers / n. those who throw objective reality under the bus. cf Dissociated Press.

false unconsciousness / n. confusion that results from trying to rewrite the unwritten rules of culture.
feminist / n. one who believes all genders are equal.

femmunist / n. one who believes some genders are more equal than others.

First Supper / n. the origin of class consciousness in the breakdown of the alpha male mindset.
foolcrum / n. a point used to pivot from one daft argument to another.

futilitarian / n. a true believer in nihilism.

Gg

Game of Thrownness / n. the human condition as described by the Two Martins (George & Heidegger).

gayTED community / n. a shining city of ideas where elites go to escape the hoi polloi.

grapht / corrupt presentation of visual data.

guilty party / n. elitist potlach thrown to celebrate white guilt.

Gulag Archibunker / n. a mental prison where the angry old white men who elected Trump and Obama are now sequestered. Antipodes of the gayTED community.

Hh

Haidt speech / n. any YouTube lecture by moral psychologist Jonathan Haidt.

Handless Maid's Tale / n. Jungian interpretation of Margaret Atwood's fantasy world where men somehow control women's reproductive rights.
hateriot / n. one who does not love their country so much as detest foreigners.

horse before Descartes, putting the / n. our long-lost pre-Enlightenment animal nature.

Hume in action / n. whereby standard economic theory gets the business end of Hume's Fork, courtesy of Mises, Rothbard et al.

Ii

iDollatry / n. a preference for sex dolls over actual women.

I Dream of Gini Coefficient / n. Western variant of Aladdin's Lumpen.

iGen / n. class of humans who entered their teens the year iPhones arrived.

immoral panic / n. social unrest stoked for political gain.

innersectional theory / n. crazed conspiracy theory that claims Marxism is missing its insides.

interior dasein / n. Heidegger and innersection-al theory, together at last!

InYourFacebook / n. the new Panopticon, built and maintained by We, The People.

Invincible Boy / n. male weakness often mistaken for a super power

Invisible Girl / n. female super power often mistaken for a weakness.

invisible hand job / n. Freud's pleasure principle employed as a tool of social control.

iron man / v. to assail only the strongest aspect of an opponent's argument. {also steel man]

Jj

Jeffrey Epstein didn't kill himself (just sayin').

Jenny McCarthyism /n. a hysterical reaction to the painful truths of science.

Joan of Arkangel / n. Greta Thunberg, shrill voice of the progressively unhinged.

Joseph Campbell Soup / n. 57 varieties of religious experience. Delicious!

Kk

kayfabulous / adj. our post-truth world as a pro wrestler might describe it (fr. Eric Weinstein)
kroolaid / n. financial assistance that cripples the recipient, e.g., welfare or the Clinton Foundation.

Ll

Larry, Curly & Mo'hammad / n. the People of the Book (Jews, Christians and Muslims) as the rest of the world sees us.

learnèd helplessness / n. mental paralysis suffered by those who know too much.

Leftwaffe n. a brood of totalitarian cuckoos bent on hijacking the noble traditions of the Left.

like-minded / adj. one who hits the 'thumbs up' button without reading the post.

LGBTQ-Anon n. nothing to see here, folks. Move along.

lonely gunman / n. a manchild driven to violence by social exclusion.

Mm

ma'amsplainer / v. a woman who condescendingly explains a man's feelings to him.

Mandela defect / n. a bizarre side effect of not being able to think in pictures.

Man And His Cymbals / n. annoying male tendency to 'steal the show'.

MatriPatriarchy / n. a culture with a crunchy patriarchal shell and a soft chewy matriarchal centre, e.g. the modern West.

#MeToo / n. abbreviation of "Me Too Pretty To Take Responsibility For My Actions".

metopia / n. a perfect world where everything comes up roses for Yours Truly.

military industrial cineplex / n. the combination of firepower, technology and entertainment that backs up the West's Official Story.
missiah complex / n. said of a woman determined to save her man regardless of the cost to the rest of us.

Morse co-ed / n. a young woman who sends mixed messages on a date.

Nn

nanoaggression / n. a one-millionth of a microaggression.

nervous breakthrough / n. when you lose your mind, then find it again, and it works better than before.

Neo-Marx Brothers / n. woke beta bros who think they want to smash the Patriarchy but actually just want to get laid.

Oo

Othering Heights / n. the ancestral home of those born both privileged and othered.

overstanding / v. understanding something to death, in the style of Sam Harris.

Pp

patter recognition / n. the ability to tell when someone is reading from a script in their head.

peer review pressure / n. force that corrupts the scientific method through groupthink and cash.

pluralistic ignoramus / n. someone who thinks everyone else is even stupider than they are.

Prime Time Directive / n. the Progressive moral injunction to DO NO HARM, as promulgated by Hollywood over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over

Pyrrhic defeat / n. a minor loss that brings about a major victory, such as the 2016 election vis-a-vis #MeToo.

Psyop-ed / n. branch of journalism touted by the New York Times and Washington Post.

Qq

Queer'an / n. the holy writ of gender activists, WHICH MUST NOT BE QUESTIONED UNDER PAIN OF DEATH!

quantum McCaanics / n. Celtic variant of quantum theory.

Rr

raindrop / n. a snowflake, as soon as things get heated.

rebel without a cosmos / n. a youth activist with no mythological understanding of life.

refugeehadi / n. one who travels to a new land and starts blowing shit up.
ringxiety / n. the feeling that a phone is ringing somewhere and you have to answer it, but you can’t find it, and you can't relax, and it's terrible, and it goes on and on forever and ever and ever.

Road to Surfdom / n. the painful process through which surfing imparts self-reliance, and thereby liberation. (fr. Friedrich Hayek)

Rogain /n. benefit accrued from listening to Joe Rogan podcasts.

River Styx / n. sparkling stream of consciousness that flows nightly from the mouth of Tarl Warwick.

Russian Quillette / n. a dangerous game where scientists risk their careers by publishing in Quillette magazine.

Ss

screwtiny / n. the awkward feeling that the whole damn planet knows about your sex life.

selfing / v. the art of projecting western values onto someone who does not share them. [ANTONYM: othering]

shamin' / n. online character who controls others by wielding shame like a witch doctor's rattle.

sheconomics / n. the study of social capital.
social justice warblers /n. wannabe world-savers whose activism is limited to a chorus of Tweets.

Soviet collective unconscious / n. Marx's disastrous attempt to create man in his own image.
Summery execution / n. termination without cause (fr. Larry Summers).

statuary rape / n. defilement of historical monuments for ideological ends.

system of checks and bounces /n. the process through which a prosperous nation cripples itself with debt. cf Rome, Britain, America, China.

Tt

The Day The Left Stood Still / n. a 2016 horror/sci-fi movie Rachel Maddow thinks she starred in.

trans pipeline / n. a social conduit that leads from normal teenage confusion to genital mutilation.

Tiananmen square/ n. just desserts for dissidents. Why settle for a Nanaimo bar when you could have a Tiananmen square?

Twitler / n. one who invokes Godwin’s Principal a priori, esp. by Tweet.

Uu

#U2 / n. the weaponization of sexual guilt that created Al Frankenstein's Monster.

uncanny valley girl / n. an almost-convincing trans woman, e.g. Blaire White.

unidiversity degree / n. the degree to which diversity excludes freedom of thought.

Universal Basic Outcome / n. {ABBR. UBO} the grim results of Marxist economic theory, every goddamned time.

Vv

victimbits / n. delectable morsels of pain prized by those who enjoy feeling hard done by.

virtual signalling / v. online activity undertaken to showcase one's high moral fibre content.

Ww

Walter Benjamin button / n. an off-switch located on the back of Karl Marx's head.

wedgislation / n. any bill proposed by elites that sets the dispossessed against each other.

White Knights in Satin / n. heartbreaking ballad of a beta male sent into battle sans armour.

Windows 33AD / n. the operating system of the postmodern soul, badly in need of an upgrade.
womb-to-prison pipeline / n. Black Matriarch Theory in action.

wuman / n. the dark Oedipal mother, whose avatar is the evil Empress Wu.

Xx

x-factor / n. the ground state of being human.

X-wife / n. estranged baby-mama with the power of the state at her disposal.

Yy

y- factor / n. the excited state of being human.

y-not? / n. the seditious notion that men should be accorded emotional rights, or rather, 'lefts'.

Zz

zygoat / n. one with a hard-headed conviction that life begins at conception, or doesn't.

zyzekgy / n. mental parallax, caused by marginalization, that yields unexpected insights (fr. cultural theorist Slavoj Zizek).

DARK WEBSTER'S DICTIONARY

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AN ENQUIRY CONCERNING HUMAN MISUNDERSTANDING

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